Every time I drive back from town, I pass this billboard tucked out of the way near a bridge, which is like a yellow tinged photograph of an office stacked high with papers, or something similar (despite its size, it’s actually hard to make out exactly what the photo is).

Over the top of the photo, in boring Times Roman typeface, are the words, “I may have nothing to tell you.”

Aside from that, there is absolutely no clue as to what the billboard is about. It’s not exactly a prime location either, so it seems doubtful it’s some kind of subliminal message from a multi-national corp.

(Photo to follow soon)

I haven’t updated this blog in a while, but just before Christmas last year me and a friend were having a night out in Petersborough (Peterborough).

At the end of the night we decided to look for food. On a previous night out we had experienced the delights of the local kebab house. Our chicken doner kebabs looked nothing like chicken and were tasteless, and upon looking around all the locals were eating beef burgers.

Anyway, based on this past experience we decided to play safe and go to Subway, at which point we had a roll covered in gravy. As it happens I hate gravy but I told my friend to get me “whatever you’re having” - my mistake.

Anyhow, while I was waiting I witnessed this drunk guy completely covered in gravy, all over his shirt, jeans, hands and face. So we nicknamed him The Human Gravy Fountain.

Since then people have commented they didn’t realise Sub Way did gravy, but I think it’s just because it was near Christmas.

We also went into Yates in Petersborough in the new year for some food, and my friend had bangers and mash which was covered in gravy. And I commented, wouldn’t it be amusing if The Human Gravy fountain worked in Yates, and had just microwaved his gravy stained jeans and then wrung them out over the food.